5 Months Old!

Sianna June turned 5 months old yesterday. She is growing so fast. She is almost crawling. She is way ahead of the game of where other 5 month old babies are. She already wants to walk.

She is in the middle of her first head cold. We went to the pediatrician Monday and learned that everything I was doing to treat her was wrong........ So now that we are back on track I am hoping she gets back to 100% soon.

we go backwards, here we are figuring out
moving forward!

Apparently you can't diffuse eucalyptus around babies. Bad for their airways. Vicks on the bottoms of her feet is the way to go.

And I need to buy more lavender oil. Because I miss sleep so much that I daydream about sleep. Before we went to NY (she flew for the first time awesome! Never cried once!) she was having a growth spurt. Then there was the traveling. So that kept her from sleeping normal. And now she's sick. She's been up all night, every night for like 3 weeks. It's like having a newborn again. If she could even go 4-5 hours instead of 2 I'd be so happy.

It's weeks like this when I seriously think SO is right and I should just quit my job. I love my job. And I know this will pass. She won't do this forever. But not having to work would be just a little easier. It's hard to be nice to people when you've gotten 5 hours in 3 nights..............

16 weeks

My baby is 16 weeks old today. Seriously, when the hell did that happen? It seems like just yesterday she was 12 weeks/3 months. Nearly 4 months old?! SLOW DOWN!

I'm not sure at this point what to do about her tantrums. When she was smaller I knew she was crying for a reason. But sometimes now I feel like she's just mad and trying to get her way. I have no idea what I'm doing and it's so scary. Do I tell her calmly and firmly to settle down? Or do I just pick her up and hold her?

The worst of it is when she's in the car. I'm pretty sure she is screaming and crying because she just doesn't want to be in her seat. But I don't want to pull over and take her out, especially if I know she's been fed. But do I just keep driving letting her scream? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!!!!

After yesterday with the screaming bloody murder in the car we came home to both be exhausted. She napped for 3 hours and I got about 45 minutes on the couch. Today I'm still so tired. She didn't go to sleep until 12 last night and was up at 7. And I work tonight.

I don't want to adult.

She's been napping. And I'm pretty sure she is getting up already. Mommy needs a nap. I love being a mommy. But some days are so rough. Some days I just want to crawl under the blankies. Someday I need some mommy time. Which really just means nap time.

The house is a disaster and I'm lucky if I get time to eat at all. Ever. Seems like any time I try to eat she doesn't want me to eat. Yet I still have about 15 lbs to go until my goal weight. You'd think running around like a chicken with my head cut off and never eating would make me lose weight.....

But in the end, this smile makes everything all better.

Bragging Rights

Yes, I'm a very proud first time momma. But my baby IS super strong. I've had so many people tell me "3 month old babies don't do that! She's so strong" while the freaking doctor says "oh babies her age don't do that" and completely think I'm lying.

Yes, my baby had started teething just past 2 months old. She has like 3 teeth pushing through now at 15 weeks old. But I was told that wasn't possible.

Yes, my baby is army crawling during her tummy time. She doesn't get far and it's slow going, but she DOES know EXACTLY what she is doing.

Yes, she is holding her head up.

Yes, she is trying to sit up on her own.

Let's remember for a moment that my baby girl was lodged stubbornly in my birth canal for 61 hours! Her heart rate only dipped once that entire time. She came out screaming and crying then proceeded to roll over at 3 days old and has been rolling over ever since. But apparently I made that up too.

I hate doctors. But because my little girl needs her check ups every 2 months and because she needs to get her vaccines (yes, I believe in vaccines) we go see the doctor. Though I am thinking of switching because these doctors are constantly telling me I'm making things up. Okay, so they don't really say that exactly. But you can see it on their faces. She's just being boastful. Telling a fish story.

Or maybe, my baby is just as strong as I say she is!

I'm thinking of showing her videos next time in. Can't blow off that kind of proof right??

Things you (might) need that you may not have thought about....

Here are some items I have found to be necessities that I never thought about before baby was born.....

An extra Boppy cover. There are a million days I'm glad I had this. Blow outs, spit ups, the dog deciding the Boppy was a good pillow of napping... I actually wished I had a waterproof cover. Boppy, get on that!!! Why waterproof? Because there are days when the blow outs are so bad taht the whole pillow needs a wash.

Bamboo nursing pads. I used a lot of disposable nursing pads the first couple months. but I've gone all out with the washable ones now. I just bought some more. $20 for a box of disposables that last 6 weeks or $16 for 14 washable that will last the entire time I nurse? That one is a no brainer. Not to mention the bamboo ones are super soft and plenty absorbent.
The ones I bought

Don't get too attached to your handy dandy easy to carry bucket carseat. Because chances are that your baby will hate it. Maybe he'll love it. It's tight and cozy like the womb. My baby hated it from day one. We bought a convertible and have the bucket for back ups. Best thing we have spent money on since she was born. This website is the best for helping you pick a good seat, whether you are buying your first seat or trying to find one your baby won't scream bloody murder in.
Carseats for the Littles

A sling or wrap of some sort. The first 6 weeks or so of the "4th trimester" can be tough. Your baby doesn't want to leave your arms because that's where she feels safest. Don't try to make her be on her own because "she has to learn". That's crap. A baby will grow out of it and learn to become more independent over time. But the first 3 months after birth, ESPECIALLY the first 6 weeks, are tough! Baby is still adjusting to live outside the womb where she was warm and could hear  your heart beat. I wore Sianna A LOT the first few weeks. I still wear her a lot. She likes it. It's comforting and she can hang out with me and see everything I see. I was given an Evenflo Snugli which I like for barn chores. But I just bought a Moby wrap as well. Which is extremely comfy to wear!! It's what I will be using on the airplane next month. Ask questions and try out different slings and wraps until you find one you like. If you don't baby wear you seriously will never get anything done ever.

White noise. I didn't think I'd need it. But turns out a recording of a vacuum helps my little girl nap. Because she was refusing to nap and by 2pm would be a little monster of crankiness. Don't spend money on a white noise machine, but DO make up a playlist of different white noise sounds on Youtube. Then you can try different ones until you find one that works. Sianna likes the vacuum best, but also relaxes with the thunderstorm noise. I wish I'd tried white noise the first couple of weeks when she was so colicky!

A baby medicine kit. Include gripe water and gas relief drops for cranky tummies and baby Orajel. Coconut oil for cradle cap and baby Motrin for after those first vaccines. You don't want her to have a small fever and have no Motrin around!! (Which is exactly what I did... luckily Mom was here and I could have her run to the store for me!!!)

Essential oil diffuser. And lots of Lavender oil. This will also help with relaxing cranky, colicky babies and helping with babies that feel like they are going to miss something if they give in an nap. Mine was given to me by one of my besties. I love it and am already all the way through a bottle of lavender. Lavender oil will also help calm dogs that don't like thunder storms. Or dogs that are a little nervous that you brought home a screaming, angry bald puppy.

2 Months Old!

She is rolling over, squiring crazy, smiling and almost laughing. She's incredibly alert and opinionated. So much big personality for a little girl. 

Trial and Error

Being a first time momma is all about trial and error. You think, before you have the baby, that you have it all figured out, how to handle a new baby. But you seriously have no clue. I feel like I've been a pretty relaxed mom. Most first time moms freak out about everything and don't want anyone holding or doing this that or the other thing. I'm like "here, have her!". I don't set her schedule, she does. She's a newborn. That's her prerogative!

And seriously, who are these moms I see online, freaking out because a family member, usually the daddy getting home late, doesn't stick to baby's schedule that mom has been working so hard to train baby to?! Why do adults want to sleep train and schedule every moment for a baby so young?! If we start any strict training, which I doubt I will, it won't be until Sianna is at least 6 months old. SO and I have pretty crazy work schedules and we've learned to be flexible in all things. Sianna will have to have a flexible schedule as well. If she goes to bed an hour late one night, whatever! I'm not going to freak out like these crazy moms online. Seriously.

As a new mom, you worry about everything as far as health is concerned. Is a gunky eye normal? Is it red? Is her poop too runny? Is she pooping enough? Is she pooping too much? Is she eating enough? Is she eating too much? Is her tummy bothering her? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she sleeping too much?

You really learn to go with the flow. I'm not one of those crazy, call the pediatrician every 5 minutes moms. But I still worry. I call my mom a lot. And text J and C often to ask their opinions. They are both moms twice over and have been excellent help!

But most of the time, you figure something out on accident. For example, I LOVE my Baja. I'd rather drive that. But SO and I switched cars and turns out Sianna likes the Jeep better. It's not the smooth ride that the Baja is. And even when it's 90* out she likes the windows down. Loud white noise.

But I figure this all out as I go along. And every day is different. I'll think I finally have her worked out and the next day everything will change: what she likes, her schedule, etc.

Everyday is an adventure.

Back in the Saddle

Yesterday I finally got back on my horse!!! Only for 10 minutes, and he was a bit of a jerk, but it was still awesome.

Last week I got cleared for work. My prolapsed cervix is back where it belongs but I still have some swelling internally. It will clear all in good time. I was not cleared for other fun things so maybe I shouldn't have been on a horse but whatever. My stepdad was shocked I waited this long. He though I'd be on Twister in the stall long before now. Mom tried to explain the carnage that had to heal and how she gets that even though I always am back on a horse before I should be, I wasn't this time.

I'm both dreading and looking forward to going to work. SO suggested I take another month off. So did Mom. But I miss work. I love my job. So it's not like I'm just going back for the paycheck. I love the people I work with and I love the job I do. Not to mention, after weeks and weeks of hardly any adult interactions and talking only to Sianna and the animals, I'm going  a bit crazy.

I feel bad for looking forward to work. I feel like as much as I love and want to be a mommy that I should want to be a stay at home mom. And I still mostly will be. I barely get in 30 hours in TWO weeks. It's not like I'm a cooperate powerhouse.

Mom is coming next week to stay with Sianna while I go back. She won't bottle feed anymore and for a while we were giving her a bottle once every couple of days and she just up and decided the nini is better, screw the bottle. So Mom will have to work on that with her before M babysits. I don't want her stuck with a hungry screaming baby that won't bottle feed......

7 weeks old!

I finally got my pump last week as well. I've been pumping like crazy trying to have enough stored. Freaking insurance company sent me to a company that doesn't even take my insurance and the company took FIVE FREAKING WEEKS to tell me they didn't. It's an incredibly cheap pump. It loses suction if you try and double pump so I can only do one side at a time which is super annoying and will make pumping at work really hard. My 15s will probably turn into 20s at the very least.

Sianna isn't an easy baby either. She's fussy a lot of the time. She gets colicky. She can go from happy smiling baby to screaming red angry  baby in a blink. But I've been reading, as I always do, and some babies just have a harder time adjusting to life outside the womb. And by 3-4 months they become more agreeable. I'm hoping this is the case. Also, some babies have what is referred to as "intense personalities". These babies have big personalities but are too small for them. I think both of these describe Sianna. Things will get better as she grows.

best buds!

She's a great sleeper though. She will sleep 6-9 hours a night easily. I almost never have to feed in the middle of the night anymore. This means she eats every hour or two during the day but that's okay. I prefer sleep.

I also need to lose some more weight. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost a pound in over a month. I don't like the way I look. I'm setting realistic goals. I'd need to lose 25 to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But if I lost 15 and got within 10lbs I'd look a lot better and feel better and fit in most of my old clothes. Hopefully I can figure out a way to ride once or twice a week at least because that will help too.... all the sweating and core and leg work! Being back at work will help some too but not enough. I wish it was cooler and Sianna liked the stroller more because I would be power walking my ass off. Literally.

Life with a Newborn

The first month is rough!

It's being perpetually sleep deprived.

It's starting a task and leaving it half finished.... like this post I've been trying to write forever....

It's putting her down for a nap because she fell sound asleep nursing to have her wake up 5 minutes later when you're trying to eat or shower or nap.

It's never knowing when you might get a shower... 4pm? 7pm? Midnight? It's when she goes down long enough to give you time to take one.

It's a pile of snacks on the coffee table so you don't go hungry.

It's 10x the laundry you were doing when there were only 2 of you.

It's 10x the trash to take out each week than when there were just 2 of you.

It's leaky boobs. And sore boobs. And lopsided boobs.... because she prefers one side over the other.

It's waking up before she does in the morning so you can eat breakfast and take care of the furkids before the baby feasting begins.

It's no longer being able to just throw on clothes and go. You have to plan hours ahead to go anywhere.

It's learning not all babies like the car.

It's having to be okay with being pooped on.

It's feeling a warm glow when she falls asleep on you.

It's your heart melting the first time she smiles at you.

It's wanting to cry when you can't get her to stop crying.

It's not wanting to wake her up but wanting to wake her up because you haven't seen her all night.

It's loving when she sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch.

It's worrying when she sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch and having to check on her often.

It's learning to do things one handed or with an infant hanging in a sling off your chest.

It's preparing for a day at the mall like you're going away for a week.

It's doing research and reading books about everything: sleeping, supplements, colic.

It's nodding and smiling at the pediatrician while in your head you're thinking "wow, you are such a douchey idiot and I'm not listening to the crap coming out of your mouth."

It's wanting to do things different than everyone else. You know what's best for your baby.  (Going back to the advice given by my douchey pediatrician that gave VERY old school and outdated advice).

It's making up swears, so you don't say the bad words. You don't want her first words to be an f-bomb.

It's baby bath times and reading stories before bed.

It's trying to figure out what she likes to do, and babies don't do a whole lot. But they still need social stimulation.

It's deciding what to do when she naps.... do I shower? Nap? Eat? Clean up a bit?

It's knowing that it is all totally worth it and you would't change one minute of it because she is your whole life and you don't know how you ever lived without her.

Sianna June - My Birth Story

Finally finally Wednesday, May 4th at 5:16pm, Sianna June joined the world after 61 hours of labor. I had planned for a natural, drug free birth with a midwife at a very modern, progressive hospital. Here is what happened.....

Monday around 6am I started having contractions and losing huge hunks of my mucus plug. Contractions weren't very regular and were pretty far apart. It was the constant back ache, more than anything, that let me know this was for real. I wanted to move things along so I walked the dogs a couple times and went out and brushed the horses and put all their fly gear on in case they had to be left out for a couple days and rolled and rocked on the ball.

That evening I went to sleep. I was super uncomfortable and slept mostly sitting up. Around 2am I started having stronger contractions and the back ache got worse. I could barely sit still let alone sleep. I rolled on the ball and paced the hallway. They were about 12 minutes apart and as the night wore on got to be about 6-7. I tried to sit with the heating pad on my back but sitting didn't feel good at all. By 5:30am they were strong but 5-7 minutes apart. I got in the shower and cleaned up and let the hot water run on my back. I had 2 contractions in the shower, but the water felt so good.

At this point SO said we should we should probably head to the hospital. I didn't want to go until the contractions were closer together but he had to go into work and we had a horse running and he didn't want me at home, 35 minutes away from him, if things got bad or if things moved along faster than anticipated. Oh, were we ever in for a surprise.....

I called the Midwife Hotline right before we left the house and Joanie answered back that she would be meeting me there. I won't lie... while I love all the midwives, Joanie is my favorite and the one I've seen the most. I was happy to know she'd be delivering my baby! We met my mom at the hospital, I'm still talking and walking through contractions, but oh the back pain. In triage I find out I'm only 2cm but 100% effaced. Hooray! everyone said, effacing is the hard part! The rest should go much faster! Baby will be here in no time. Yea... sure.

We get settled into my L&D room and I'm walking and rolling on the ball and standing under the hot shower. This goes on for hours. Sometime around dinner time Joanie fills the labor pool and has me get in it to try and get baby off my back.
-Side bar..... Tuesday, exactly 1 week before, Joanie checked me and said baby was head down facing my back. Apparently, as soon as labor started, she decided to roll into sunny side up position, which if you don't know, is all wrong for labor.
So anyways. I float and kneel mostly on my belly in the pool and after a couple hours in there I start having contractions 2-3 minutes apart and some of them marathon, lasting well over a minute. Joanie had me get out at some point so she could check me again. I was STILL only 2cm.

At this point I know what happened but at what time things happened is fuzzy. Mom and SO took turns walking around the floor with me trying to get baby to move further down and get me dilating more. I took another hot shower, while sitting on the ball. Walked some more. Somewhere in here Joanie checks me again and I'm 6cm.

At some point toward the middle of the night we're walking the halls and the pain from the contractions are so bad. I feel like my hips are being split like a wishbone. The pain in my back was running all the way down both legs and I couldn't breath.

Now, let me say that not ONCE during all of this did anyone suggest that I get an epidural or did anyone say I had been in labor too long and we needed to add Pitocin or do a c-section. No one. Not once. Everyone was very respectful of my birth plan and wishes.

At some point walking the halls with SO I told him I couldn't do it anymore. I was seriously considering an epidural. He said he would be there and support whatever I decided to do. We went back to the room where I continued to labor, but I was wearing out. I couldn't breath through the pain anymore. I was crying and genuinely felt like throwing a total 3 year old temper tantrum. The pain was making me just want to run away. I told mom I wanted the epidural. Joanie called anesthesia and they were there in no time. The nurse wanted to make sure I knew that an epidural meant I had to have an IV fluid line and wear a fetal heart rate monitor. I knew. I'd done my research.

I felt like such a cheater. I planned a drug-free childbirth. I thought I was tough enough to deal with whatever came my way. But nearly 24 hours of HARD labor, 36-ish all together, and I was worn out. I could hardly stand. We'd tried every position to labor in that Joanie could think of, using every trick in her book and still, right before we had the epidural put in, we checked me again, still only at 6cm.

Finally, I napped. My body needed that so bad. This is where things get really fuzzy.... I was told my contractions were slowing down too much and I got a Pitocin drip. I can't remember who came in and told me that needed to be done. Joanie was supposed to leave her shift at 8am and Jackie take over, but she said she was staying with me and because there were no other midwife patients in labor, Jackie would come in  later. We were all assuming that by later, there would be a baby girl born and Joanie would be long on her way home.....

They gradually increased the Pitocin and I was able to feel my contractions, even through the epidural. Not every time in my uterus, but I was feeling it every single time in my hips and back. The pain wasn't as severe as without the epidural but it was no freaking walking in the park either.

My bag broke on it's own sometime in there, I want to say around 9am. I kept looking at the clock in front of my bed but it I couldn't remember what time anything happened. It was like being in another dimension. Time was no longer a number on the clock, but the number of breaths during a contractions, how many times I had to moan through the pain, how many times a nurse came to check on me, how many times I asked for water or juice because I though I would pass out (this hospital lets you eat all through labor, but not if you have an epidural, then it's clear fluids only).

Around 10:30am Joanie checked me and said it was time to push. So I pushed and pushed. When you have an epidural, it's really hard to tell if you're even pushing. I remember Joanie saying "push toward your bottom" over and over. She'd say "that's it! that's it!" when I hit the right spot and I'd try to remember that for next time.

Feel a contraction starting, inhale, hold it, push for a count of ten, exhale, inhale, push for 10, exhale, inhale, push for 10. The next several hours went on like this. Every now and then Joanie would check me and have me breath through the contraction. Those were the worst. An epidural only does so much.

Baby girl was sunny side up (head coming out facing up, instead of down as what is normal). So Joanie started trying to turn her, to ease her into a better position. I am so thankful at this point that I had an epidural because I didn't even know half of what she was doing down there. Without it, I'm sure I would now be recovering from a c-section. I could somewhat feel and move my legs so we got me up against the back of the raised bed and tried having me push like that. We tried having me push on one side or the other.

This whole entire time baby girl's heart rate never fluttered. It was turned up on the monitor and sounded like she was a wild horse, galloping away. But at one point while pushing on my side with Joanie trying to maneuver her, her heart rate dropped. It wasn't even a big drop but not a good one. We got it back to normal quickly and it never faltered again. Not once. Actually, they were putting oxygen on me to get me to breathe deeper and slow her down most of the time.

At some point Jackie got there and decided she'd take a look. She tried some things to turn baby and decided she was just going to put on some scrubs and join the party. We tried having me breath through contractions with my legs hanging off the bed, with me pushing using a bar, doing tug o war with the bar, with my feet together, with me grabbing my legs. Mom was often helping me hold a leg and SO was helping me hold my upper body up so I could curl into the push.

They would get her head almost past the bone, and it'd go back in. This went on over and over. Baby girl has a big head and it wasn't facing the correct way for starters and it was stuck on my pelvic arch. We had to turn her to get it through or she wan't coming out vaginally.

Sometime that afternoon, Joanie had the OB attending come in and have a look. I'm not sure what all was said but the jist of it was, if we didn't make any progress by the time she came back from doing a c-section we'd have to decide: try forceps or prep for a c-section. I'd been in labor far too long, even if baby's heart rate was beating like the hooves of a stakes horse coming down the stretch - nice and steady and strong.

In the next hour, every time we though we were getting baby girl further through, she'd suck back up in due to how her head was positioned against my pelvic arch. We were doing everything to try and turn her. When the OB came back in, we hadn't made much progress at all. While baby was doing great, I was worn out. We decided to try forceps first. I had worked so hard to prepare my mind and body for a natural birth and I wasn't going to get drug-free. But I could still delivery vaginally. And even though I'd had an epidural, I was feeling quite a bit of my contraction and they hurt like a sonofayouknowwhat. Because I could partly feel my legs we even tried pushing on my hands and knees on the bed, epidural and all. But it didn't help.

Next thing I know, there are so many people in my room. The OB and her staff, the NICU staff, because there was meconium when my bag  broke. Plus 2 midwives, my nurse and the OB tech nurse. Everyone was around the bed. The anesthesiologist replaced my epidural bag. It was time to end a very long labor and deliver this baby.

I was put in stirrups but left flat on my back. The OB carefully inserted the forceps and as I felt the contraction, I grabbed my thighs pushed like I'd never pushed before. It was like having a whole cheer leading squad. SO had my hand and back. Mom had one leg, a nurse had another. Everyone was telling me to push, I could do it, don't give up, I'm almost there, harder, push harder.Jackie had 2 fingers positioning the head as the OB eased her out through the contraction while I pushed life into the room.

I was nearly folded in half and I saw her slick little body being caught and lifted out. I remember reaching, sobbing with relief and pure joy, for her and asking Jackie to delay cord clamping. She told me we couldn't do it. I later found out this was partly because of the risk of aspirated meconium and also because her cord was abnormally short. I wouldn't have been able to do skin to skin even if things had gone differently. She wouldn't have reached my belly!

But she was crying and everyone said she was strong and healthy. After NICU gave her the all clear, they diapered her and finally I got to hold my little one. She took my breath away. SO and I looked at her and tried to decide what to name her. He said after all I'd been through, I got to pick. She is such a perfect mix of both of us when you look at her. She's gorgeous.

While I am loving on my LO for the first time, the OB is waiting for my placenta. We waited over 30 minutes, even upped the Pitocin but it was not coming out. It had to be manually removed. I'd also lost a lot of blood and I was very shocky, nearly passing out when they tried to raise the bed up for me to nurse and throwing up the little bit of juice I'd tried to get down. I nearly threw up right on Sianna's head! My mom, who is a nurse, jumped from Mom/Doula mode to nurse mode, insisting I get a transfusion. But for whatever reason they didn't want to do it just then, instead waiting to see how I felt the next day. I ended up receiving 2 pints of blood the day we were discharged.

As I nursed and fell in love with Sianna June, the OB stitched me up and gently pushed a slightly prolapsed cervix back into my body. I have 2 sets of sutures, one on my perenium and one set that's off to the left somewhere but I haven't checked them out, not sure of the exact location. The tearing, while giving me what the OB called "a pumper", wasn't overly bad. No episiotomy was cut. In addition to the prolapsed cervix and tears and need for a transfusion, I also pulled a groin-area muscle in my right thigh when pushing.

My mom and SO think I'm a bit crazy. Mom said she would have begged for a c-section long before the 24 hour mark, her also having delivered a face presentation baby (me!) drug free and my baby being a whole pound larger than I was at birth. SO knew I wanted to be as natural as possible, but being worried sick for me made him wish I'd opted for surgery long before.

But to me, I'm happy with the outcome. I made "concessions" but if you think about it, I really didn't. Every decision was made based on what would be best for LO and myself. I needed that epidural so that I didn't physically crash and give out all together. And the forceps kept me from having major abdominal surgery, which to me is very important. Had LO's heart rate been all over the place, had she been in distress, I would have been running for that OR. But she was strong and that enabled me to do what I could to get her out vaginally.

A few days before I started labor, one of my best friends warned me that even though I'd done research up the wazoo and had a very well laid out birth plan, things could go wrong and instead of using that research to get my dream birth, I might have to use it to make tough decisions. She was right.

worth it all!

The OB told my mom that face presentation babies is hereditary, so is retaining a placenta. So someday when LO is ready to have her own babies, I'll have to warn her about this. While Mom labored with me for 17 hours start to finish, including her early first stage, I labored for 61 hours including early first stage. Pushing for 6.

I am so thankful I switched to the hospital I did back at 3 months. NO WHERE ELSE would I have been allowed to labor as long as I did and have such an amazing, supportive and empowering team to get me to the finish line. Not once did anyone use scare tactics, as a matter of fact Joanie and my nurse often spoke quietly, me having to ask "what's wrong?!" because they never wanted me alarmed. Not even the OB threatened or tried to scare me. She came to visit me both days I was in recovery, just to see how the "legend" was doing. Apparently I've set some hospital records.... What very easily could have been a traumatic experience anywhere else ended up being the most rewarding and empowering experience of my life.

No, everything didn't go as I'd dreamed and planned, but I couldn't be happier with the outcome. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Sianna June

Born May 4th
7lbs8oz, 20 inches

Overdue

As yesterday was my due date, I'm officially overdue! I'm not even worried or scared or nervous for labor. I am confident and ready. More than ready. SO FREAKING READY. She is low. Causing my crotch so much pain. I've had a ton of Braxton-Hicks but nothing that turns into real active labor.

She's been dropping for a week now and over night she dropped a ton and my boobs got bigger. Over night! So I'm hoping soon. Though it doesn't look like anything will happen before I go to work tonight.

yesterday afternoon.... has dropped
more since this photo!!!

Getting Dog Ready for Baby

I know so many people that have given up their dog when finding out they are having a baby. I don't understand this. I worked at a kennel for 2 years and my boss was on the board of a rescue. And so many dogs were surrendered because the couple was starting a family OR had a young child that the dog was too crazy for. One such dog, now named Spirit, was surrendered to us at 4 months old because he bit the baby's face.... after the baby had been pulling on him, sitting on him, shaking him. trying to pick him up by his limbs. So yea.... he bit the kid. I WOULDA TOO!

You can't just teach the dog to behave around baby. Baby needs to learn to also respect dog. 

At 3 months pregnant, we had to put our big lab, Ranger, down. He was only a year and a half old but was born with so many joint and bone issues. After too much in surgery to fix his hips, he broke a couple of legs at once due to poor bone density and severe degeneration in his elbows. He would have been awesome around a baby. Because our older dog, Roader, has never been long without a canine buddy, we immediately started looking for a new dog. We adopted Mona after 20 minutes with her at the shelter.

Days after bringing Mona home

Mona is an awesome dog. But it's taken us time. I think she was abused and never knew manners or how to be loved. She's still a nut job. Don't get me wrong. But she's a controlled nut job. And most of her being a nut job has to do with her being half border collie, half lab and with her being just over a year old. She's wired for sound.

I started training with her IMMEDIATELY. I read some online posts and some books about getting dog ready for baby's arrival and most of the info was about them being obedience trained. Any dog I have ever owned has been obedience trained. So what else could I do??

As soon as she was healthy (bout with parvo and kennel cough...) and spayed we started training classes at the kennel I used to work at. Because I had done so much work at home with her in 3 months we skipped puppy class and and jumped right into intermediate. She was awesome. Always surprising me with how she could overcome a fear or learn something so fast.

At home we learned where she was allowed to be in baby's room. She has a spot and she knows it's her spot. She was also crate trained from day one. Crates are not cruel. It gives her a safe place to be when she feels overwhelmed and a "den" to sleep in at night. She is more than willing at the end of the day to "go to her house" to go to bed.

I've let her be in the baby's room while I sorted baby clothes and put together the crib. I fold all the laundry on the bed in there so Mona will come in and lay on her mat with her bone. We've played "Mona's toys, Baby's toys". The key to this game is "leave it", a command she learned very early in our training. I throw a whole bunch of baby stuff on the floor and also a bunch of Mona's stuff. When she goes to grab baby stuff, I tell her "leave it." When she goes for her own toy I leave her be or might just tell her "get it, on your bed".

"Get it" and "open it" is another thing we learned. Mona is a bit of a velcro dog.... meaning she likes to be by my side and can be a bit co-dependent. I don't want her to feel ignored or to get jealous of baby. So I've taught her to be helpful. "Get it" is her command to pick something up for me. She also knows "here" (to bring it to me) and "give" (to let go of said item). She also can open the fridge. I tie a tug toy to the handle and I taught her to "get it" and "tug" and when she learned to open it consistently I switched the command to "open it!" She loves to help me in the kitchen.

"place" command

Mona has learned to be asked on to furniture and to get down off furniture on command. While this isn't her strong suite thanks to SO encouraging what I try to discourage, we are learning not to jump up on people, me or anyone else.

I want Mona to get used to other baby equipment. She helped me assemble the quilt and stroller and then we have practiced walking on a leash nicely next to the stroller. Due to her background, I was worried Mona would be scared of the stroller. No way. She was more than happy to walk nicely along side it.

Mona hasn't had a lot of time around small children and that's one thing I wish I'd worked on more. We've seen a few kids in passing at the kennel and she didn't seem phased by them. She is very gentle with the new cat, Gilbert. She snuggles with him and lets him crawl on her. So that's always a good sign.

Mona has also learned commands like "heel", "back up", "down", "sit", "wait", "stay", "bed" (for going to her bed in our bedroom), I could go on and on. And every day I use these commands and keep her mind active. She likes to work. Running through her commands every day is working. I teach her something new at least once a week. Or we do something new. Like last week we went to Lowes and the pet store for the first time. We've also done a little agility work so she knows some of those basic commands too. Another important thing is teaching dog to ride nicely in a car, no jumping or running from side to side. Sit and look out the window nicely.

The number one thing to keeping your dog from being crazy is making sure they get enough exercise. My dogs are farm dogs and we have a lot of land surrounded by even more land and our neighbors don't care if our dogs run on their fields or in their woods. Mona is outside most of the day, especially when we aren't home, versus her being locked in a crate. Also, I try to get her to doggie day care once a week to play with other dogs. Socialization is super important too. I'm lucky that Mona already loves other dogs. And play time with a group is more tiring than her running around the farm by herself.

I stick my fingers in her mouth and gently tug on her tail, SO picks her up and carries her around, I touch and pat her everywhere and pull on her... gently. Anything an infant or toddler might do. She could care less. But also, when baby girl gets here, she will learn to respect the dogs. Both of them. Roader is a saint. But he's also an achy old man. And every dog has their limit. If you don't teach your child to respect your dogs and treat them nicely, then you really don't have a right to be mad or get rid of them when they hurt your child. Yes, I would be PISSED if my dogs hurt a child. But if that child had done something to provoke the dog because the parent never taught the child any different, then you are partly to blame. Dogs have fight or flight responses. When they reach their wits end, they will run away or fight back. Parents with animals need to understand this and respect that. Train your dog to be respectful but also teach your child to respect and love your dog. A child is never too young to learn this, just as a dog's training should ideally start from the moment they are born.

getting used to a little dress up never hurts either, esp
when you're expecting a girl!

If you had met Mona when we first adopted her, during those first weeks, you would think we were batshit crazy to have a dog like her while expecting a baby. But I knew I had 6 months and could train her to be a functioning member of the family. And I have. She's a snuggler and a sweetie and super smart and ready to learn. Right now her and Roader are passed out on the couch together, being a chilly day, she's in for a nap. If I can take a dog out of the shelter and have her baby-ready in 6 months, you can get the dog you've had for months or years baby-ready by the time you deliver. Dogs are family! Don't give them up!!!

Maternity Photos and 9th month observations

Did my maternity shoot last week. Just in time for me to totally not feel like doing them. Now I'm fighting allergies, plus it's getting harder and harder to do normal things like walk. I feel like a cowboy after a week on the range or like I'm straddling a rock....aka baby girl's little knobby head. Basically anything I eat give me heartburn and sits like a rock in my tummy. Baby girl loves to wedge her little culo up into my diaphragm. I'm ready to meet her. Ready to rock a natural birth. SO asked if I'm worried about going med-free. Reminding me it's going to be a hell of a lot of pain. But I know my body can do it and in the long run it's best for me and baby girl.

I think the last couple weeks are so uncomfortable and you feel like crap so that you're not scared about delivering. You're more than ready. Hurry up and bring it on. Get this baby out of me!

I miss my year ago body too. I know I'll get it back but I've gained a ton of weight, all in my ass and thighs and calves. Maternity clothes I bought in November and December hardly fit anymore and yoga pants are my new best friend. I miss being able to throw hay and do stalls. I can't even pick the boys' stalls without huffing and puffing. Leaving the dumping of water buckets and wheel barrel to SO.

And I am so tired all the time. I don't sleep much at night between not being able to get comfortable and having to pee constantly all night. I also snore so bad now that I snore myself awake. I daydream about sleep.

But I have a feeling that baby girl is going to come early. I'm 36 weeks and 3 days today so maybe in 2 or 3 weeks?? I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I'm very anxious, not knowing when the party will start.....

 Photos taken by EMW Photography.

took this one myself with a self-timer on easter