Being a first time momma is all about trial and error. You think, before you have the baby, that you have it all figured out, how to handle a new baby. But you seriously have no clue. I feel like I've been a pretty relaxed mom. Most first time moms freak out about everything and don't want anyone holding or doing this that or the other thing. I'm like "here, have her!". I don't set her schedule, she does. She's a newborn. That's her prerogative!
And seriously, who are these moms I see online, freaking out because a family member, usually the daddy getting home late, doesn't stick to baby's schedule that mom has been working so hard to train baby to?! Why do adults want to sleep train and schedule every moment for a baby so young?! If we start any strict training, which I doubt I will, it won't be until Sianna is at least 6 months old. SO and I have pretty crazy work schedules and we've learned to be flexible in all things. Sianna will have to have a flexible schedule as well. If she goes to bed an hour late one night, whatever! I'm not going to freak out like these crazy moms online. Seriously.
As a new mom, you worry about everything as far as health is concerned. Is a gunky eye normal? Is it red? Is her poop too runny? Is she pooping enough? Is she pooping too much? Is she eating enough? Is she eating too much? Is her tummy bothering her? Is she getting enough sleep? Is she sleeping too much?
You really learn to go with the flow. I'm not one of those crazy, call the pediatrician every 5 minutes moms. But I still worry. I call my mom a lot. And text J and C often to ask their opinions. They are both moms twice over and have been excellent help!
But most of the time, you figure something out on accident. For example, I LOVE my Baja. I'd rather drive that. But SO and I switched cars and turns out Sianna likes the Jeep better. It's not the smooth ride that the Baja is. And even when it's 90* out she likes the windows down. Loud white noise.
But I figure this all out as I go along. And every day is different. I'll think I finally have her worked out and the next day everything will change: what she likes, her schedule, etc.
Everyday is an adventure.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Back in the Saddle
Yesterday I finally got back on my horse!!! Only for 10 minutes, and he was a bit of a jerk, but it was still awesome.
Last week I got cleared for work. My prolapsed cervix is back where it belongs but I still have some swelling internally. It will clear all in good time. I was not cleared for other fun things so maybe I shouldn't have been on a horse but whatever. My stepdad was shocked I waited this long. He though I'd be on Twister in the stall long before now. Mom tried to explain the carnage that had to heal and how she gets that even though I always am back on a horse before I should be, I wasn't this time.
I'm both dreading and looking forward to going to work. SO suggested I take another month off. So did Mom. But I miss work. I love my job. So it's not like I'm just going back for the paycheck. I love the people I work with and I love the job I do. Not to mention, after weeks and weeks of hardly any adult interactions and talking only to Sianna and the animals, I'm going a bit crazy.
I feel bad for looking forward to work. I feel like as much as I love and want to be a mommy that I should want to be a stay at home mom. And I still mostly will be. I barely get in 30 hours in TWO weeks. It's not like I'm a cooperate powerhouse.
Mom is coming next week to stay with Sianna while I go back. She won't bottle feed anymore and for a while we were giving her a bottle once every couple of days and she just up and decided the nini is better, screw the bottle. So Mom will have to work on that with her before M babysits. I don't want her stuck with a hungry screaming baby that won't bottle feed......
I finally got my pump last week as well. I've been pumping like crazy trying to have enough stored. Freaking insurance company sent me to a company that doesn't even take my insurance and the company took FIVE FREAKING WEEKS to tell me they didn't. It's an incredibly cheap pump. It loses suction if you try and double pump so I can only do one side at a time which is super annoying and will make pumping at work really hard. My 15s will probably turn into 20s at the very least.
Sianna isn't an easy baby either. She's fussy a lot of the time. She gets colicky. She can go from happy smiling baby to screaming red angry baby in a blink. But I've been reading, as I always do, and some babies just have a harder time adjusting to life outside the womb. And by 3-4 months they become more agreeable. I'm hoping this is the case. Also, some babies have what is referred to as "intense personalities". These babies have big personalities but are too small for them. I think both of these describe Sianna. Things will get better as she grows.
She's a great sleeper though. She will sleep 6-9 hours a night easily. I almost never have to feed in the middle of the night anymore. This means she eats every hour or two during the day but that's okay. I prefer sleep.
I also need to lose some more weight. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost a pound in over a month. I don't like the way I look. I'm setting realistic goals. I'd need to lose 25 to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But if I lost 15 and got within 10lbs I'd look a lot better and feel better and fit in most of my old clothes. Hopefully I can figure out a way to ride once or twice a week at least because that will help too.... all the sweating and core and leg work! Being back at work will help some too but not enough. I wish it was cooler and Sianna liked the stroller more because I would be power walking my ass off. Literally.
Last week I got cleared for work. My prolapsed cervix is back where it belongs but I still have some swelling internally. It will clear all in good time. I was not cleared for other fun things so maybe I shouldn't have been on a horse but whatever. My stepdad was shocked I waited this long. He though I'd be on Twister in the stall long before now. Mom tried to explain the carnage that had to heal and how she gets that even though I always am back on a horse before I should be, I wasn't this time.
I'm both dreading and looking forward to going to work. SO suggested I take another month off. So did Mom. But I miss work. I love my job. So it's not like I'm just going back for the paycheck. I love the people I work with and I love the job I do. Not to mention, after weeks and weeks of hardly any adult interactions and talking only to Sianna and the animals, I'm going a bit crazy.
I feel bad for looking forward to work. I feel like as much as I love and want to be a mommy that I should want to be a stay at home mom. And I still mostly will be. I barely get in 30 hours in TWO weeks. It's not like I'm a cooperate powerhouse.
Mom is coming next week to stay with Sianna while I go back. She won't bottle feed anymore and for a while we were giving her a bottle once every couple of days and she just up and decided the nini is better, screw the bottle. So Mom will have to work on that with her before M babysits. I don't want her stuck with a hungry screaming baby that won't bottle feed......
 |
| 7 weeks old! |
Sianna isn't an easy baby either. She's fussy a lot of the time. She gets colicky. She can go from happy smiling baby to screaming red angry baby in a blink. But I've been reading, as I always do, and some babies just have a harder time adjusting to life outside the womb. And by 3-4 months they become more agreeable. I'm hoping this is the case. Also, some babies have what is referred to as "intense personalities". These babies have big personalities but are too small for them. I think both of these describe Sianna. Things will get better as she grows.
 |
| best buds! |
I also need to lose some more weight. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost a pound in over a month. I don't like the way I look. I'm setting realistic goals. I'd need to lose 25 to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But if I lost 15 and got within 10lbs I'd look a lot better and feel better and fit in most of my old clothes. Hopefully I can figure out a way to ride once or twice a week at least because that will help too.... all the sweating and core and leg work! Being back at work will help some too but not enough. I wish it was cooler and Sianna liked the stroller more because I would be power walking my ass off. Literally.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Life with a Newborn
The first month is rough!
It's being perpetually sleep deprived.
It's starting a task and leaving it half finished.... like this post I've been trying to write forever....
It's putting her down for a nap because she fell sound asleep nursing to have her wake up 5 minutes later when you're trying to eat or shower or nap.
It's never knowing when you might get a shower... 4pm? 7pm? Midnight? It's when she goes down long enough to give you time to take one.
It's a pile of snacks on the coffee table so you don't go hungry.
It's 10x the laundry you were doing when there were only 2 of you.
It's 10x the trash to take out each week than when there were just 2 of you.
It's leaky boobs. And sore boobs. And lopsided boobs.... because she prefers one side over the other.
It's waking up before she does in the morning so you can eat breakfast and take care of the furkids before the baby feasting begins.
It's no longer being able to just throw on clothes and go. You have to plan hours ahead to go anywhere.
It's learning not all babies like the car.
It's having to be okay with being pooped on.
It's feeling a warm glow when she falls asleep on you.
It's your heart melting the first time she smiles at you.
It's wanting to cry when you can't get her to stop crying.
It's not wanting to wake her up but wanting to wake her up because you haven't seen her all night.
It's loving when she sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch.
It's worrying when she sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch and having to check on her often.
It's learning to do things one handed or with an infant hanging in a sling off your chest.
It's preparing for a day at the mall like you're going away for a week.
It's doing research and reading books about everything: sleeping, supplements, colic.
It's nodding and smiling at the pediatrician while in your head you're thinking "wow, you are such a douchey idiot and I'm not listening to the crap coming out of your mouth."
It's wanting to do things different than everyone else. You know what's best for your baby. (Going back to the advice given by my douchey pediatrician that gave VERY old school and outdated advice).
It's making up swears, so you don't say the bad words. You don't want her first words to be an f-bomb.
It's baby bath times and reading stories before bed.
It's trying to figure out what she likes to do, and babies don't do a whole lot. But they still need social stimulation.
It's deciding what to do when she naps.... do I shower? Nap? Eat? Clean up a bit?
It's knowing that it is all totally worth it and you would't change one minute of it because she is your whole life and you don't know how you ever lived without her.
It's being perpetually sleep deprived.
It's starting a task and leaving it half finished.... like this post I've been trying to write forever....
It's putting her down for a nap because she fell sound asleep nursing to have her wake up 5 minutes later when you're trying to eat or shower or nap.
It's never knowing when you might get a shower... 4pm? 7pm? Midnight? It's when she goes down long enough to give you time to take one.
It's a pile of snacks on the coffee table so you don't go hungry.
It's 10x the laundry you were doing when there were only 2 of you.
It's 10x the trash to take out each week than when there were just 2 of you.
It's leaky boobs. And sore boobs. And lopsided boobs.... because she prefers one side over the other.
It's waking up before she does in the morning so you can eat breakfast and take care of the furkids before the baby feasting begins.
It's no longer being able to just throw on clothes and go. You have to plan hours ahead to go anywhere.
It's learning not all babies like the car.
It's having to be okay with being pooped on.
It's feeling a warm glow when she falls asleep on you.
It's your heart melting the first time she smiles at you.
It's wanting to cry when you can't get her to stop crying.
It's not wanting to wake her up but wanting to wake her up because you haven't seen her all night.
It's loving when she sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch.
It's worrying when she sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch and having to check on her often.
It's learning to do things one handed or with an infant hanging in a sling off your chest.
It's preparing for a day at the mall like you're going away for a week.
It's doing research and reading books about everything: sleeping, supplements, colic.
It's nodding and smiling at the pediatrician while in your head you're thinking "wow, you are such a douchey idiot and I'm not listening to the crap coming out of your mouth."
It's wanting to do things different than everyone else. You know what's best for your baby. (Going back to the advice given by my douchey pediatrician that gave VERY old school and outdated advice).
It's making up swears, so you don't say the bad words. You don't want her first words to be an f-bomb.
It's baby bath times and reading stories before bed.
It's trying to figure out what she likes to do, and babies don't do a whole lot. But they still need social stimulation.
It's deciding what to do when she naps.... do I shower? Nap? Eat? Clean up a bit?
It's knowing that it is all totally worth it and you would't change one minute of it because she is your whole life and you don't know how you ever lived without her.
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